But darkness falls
You try with all your might
But madness calls
Relapse
No control
No escape
Relapse
I love you
I hate you
I want you
I need you
Relapse
--Anonymous
-------------------------------------------------
Anyone who suffers from an addiction (and who doesn't?) is too familiar with the constant battle involved in letting go. Be it a bad habit like nail biting to gambling, alcoholism, food, or drugs, quitting is often served with a side of relapse.
I recently suffered a figurative crack abuse relapse. Why do I bother doing stuff I know I shouldn't, that will surely result in a hurtful ending, and only reset a vicious cycle? Because I am addicted, have no control, and clearly am a bit naive.
For some [clearly irrational] reason I always think that "this time will be different." Well, I know that it won't be (although I can't deny that I'd love to be wrong), but I tried a new method. I'm not resetting the cycle, I'm shutting the whole machine off. I think it's going to work. It has in similar situations, so I have hope. It was quick, and though it stung, it's over with now.
Thank you, red delete button, for making it a little easier to breathe now.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Posts
